


Trouble Makers

by supasafeboss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23109259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supasafeboss/pseuds/supasafeboss
Summary: Connie and Sasha get caught on their biggest heist.And the last person they want to see walks in through the door.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith, Sasha Blouse & Connie Springer
Comments: 9
Kudos: 154





	Trouble Makers

They were thoroughly fucked.

Completely, utterly, fucked.

Connie doesn’t know why he lets Sasha get him into these shenanigans. He was easily persuaded, he guessed. Sasha was his friend and he wanted to have her back.

_It would be fun_ , she said. _Think of all of the great food_ , she drooled.

But now he was really regretting following her into the Garrison’s food storage to perform the heist of the century. Not just the Garrison’s, but the Garrison Officer’s provisions. Wine, meat, sweets, tobacco – the works. They were just going to take what they needed for themselves and their friends. But when Sasha took a tumble from the top shelf, the jig was up.

Now, they were caught red-handed, hands in the cookie jar when a low-ranking officer walked in on them with arms full of meats and produce. They stared down the barrel of a rifle as the officer yelled for a fellow soldier to get their commander.

So, yea…completely fucked.

“You have to had either brass balls or shit-for-brains to break into this facility.” The solider held his rifle, but it swayed as he rocked in a cocky manner. His face pulled into a smirk at the new Survey Corps recruits in his clutches.

Connie fought a shrug. Not like it was difficult to get in. The ‘guard’ was passed out drunk around the corner and the door was unlocked. They just…walked in.

“What are you going to do to us?” Sasha asked, her voice betraying her anxiety.

The Garrison solider blinked at them, obviously dumbfounded, but he gritted his teeth instead. “I…I don’t know. I’m sure Pixis will have a good punishment lined up for both of ya.”

“Pixis is in the capital.” Another solider voiced out of sight, they could hear the footsteps from outside the door. “But I found someone more suitable.”

Sasha and Connie gulped, not sure what that meant.

The messenger stepped into the room and turned, pulling into a salute. Out of habit, Sasha and Connie did the same. The arresting officer kept his rifle up as long, heavy footsteps approached.

Connie had hoped it was a senior solider from the Survey Corps. Or even Section Commander Ness.

The person who entered was neither of them.

It was his worst nightmare.

Not their boss. Their boss’s – boss’s – boss.

The chief.

The head hancho.

The big cheese.

Commander Erwin Smith.

This was not how Connie wanted to meet his superior officer. He really did not want to meet him at all. He had heard so much about the man who sent so many to their deaths. The same one that told them all the truth, no matter how ugly, during recruitment. He was intimidating then. Now that he was in front of them, he was even more impressive.

He was painfully tall – so tall that he ducked a little to get into the door. When he pulled himself to full height, he was the epitome of a military leader: confident, powerful and regal. His hair was perfectly groomed, his uniform pressed and clean, his face freshly shaven.

He was terrifying.

Commander Smith looked at his two newest soldiers and glanced at the Garrison officer, with his rifle still raised. He placed one hand on the man’s shoulder and the other on his hand over the trigger. “That is not necessary.”

Connie swore he could see the man’s internal battle as he considered insubordination towards a ranking officer. He huffed a little and lowered the weapon. The commander gave a little tug and the Garrison solider relinquished his control over the weapon. Connie released the breath he was holding as Commander Erwin placed it back into safety and leaned it against the wall before turning his attention to the group.

“May I please have your name?” He asked of the arresting solider.

The solider finally saluted the commander. “Weis, sir. Nathaniel Weis.”

“Thank you, Nathaniel. Can you brief me on what occurred that required you to hold my soldiers at gunpoint?”

Nathaniel seemed to take that as a slight, but he inhaled deep and took a calming breath before delving into the explanation. Connie cringed as he started to describe how they were caught with Garrison provisions in hand. He embellished it in some parts, especially those where he was involved. Sasha and Connie stayed silent, watching the exchange occur.

The commander turned their way after the solider was done. His eyes were an icy blue and piercing.

Connie swore his heart dropped to his stomach and scurried to hide behind his liver somewhere. The floorboards were vibrating from Sasha’s shaking.

“Connie. Sasha. Can you explain what happened?”

“Well, uh…sir. Commander sir…we were…” Sasha started, but was cut off.

“Sir! It was exactly how I explained it! They…”

“Quiet.”

The man’s jaw snapped shut under the simple command. He had Commander Erwin’s full attention and he did not look happy. Outside of that one word, the commander stared at the solider until he looked away.

“Apologies, sir…”

Commander Smith looked away, took a deep breath and let it out slow. When he looked back at the solider, he obviously expected no arguments. “I need the room with my subordinates.”

Nathaniel opened his mouth to argue but the first word did not make it past his lips.

“That is an order. Obey it.”

Both Garrison soldiers startled to make a quick exit. When Nathaniel headed for his rifle, the commander’s voice rang out again.

“Leave it.”

Nathaniel just nodded and hurried out the door.

Commander Smith barely turned his head to the retreating backs. “Close the door behind you.”

The door shut firmly. Connie was not sure if this was a good thing. Because now he was stuck in a secure room with _him_.

Commander Erwin Smith stood tall again, his hands folding behind his back, eyes focused on the two new recruits. “Now, Sasha…deep breath in and out.” He took one himself that even had Connie following along. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Sir…we are leaving outside the walls by the end of the week and we noticed that the quality of food the Scouts get…well, it’s uh…”

“It’s gross, sir.” Connie added, his voice determined even though he cringed internally.

“Um…I wouldn’t say that.” Sasha waved her hands in front to get the commander’s attention away from Connie. “We are grateful for the food, sir. We really are. It is just what we…” the words trickle away when Commander Smith lifts his hand up to stop them.

“No, need. The food is…how did you describe it? Gross.” The commander’s arms come out from his back and hooks onto his hip, a small smile on his face. “I have had my fair share of meals in the corps so I understand your plight.”

Connie glanced to Sasha mimicked him. _Did they just hear him right?_

“You…you do? Sir?”

Erwin looked down at his toes, looking much less intimidating than before. “I am afraid that the Scouts tend to get less funding than the other military divisions. We also have substantial overhead costs. When we go outside the walls, we loose soldiers, equipment, provisions and horses. Unlike the MPs and the Garrison, we have a high turnover of limited resources.” He lifts his head and gives them an apologetic face. “I am afraid I have to make some tough choices to ensure everyone has the tools they need and enough food to function. The first supplies sacrificed are the luxury items.”

“Which is why we only have meat before expeditions.” Connie realizes.

The Commander smiles and nods back. “Often it is a soldier’s last meal. I want it to be a good one.”

They stand in silence for a moment, allowing the information to soak in.

To Connie, it made him feel awful that he did this to his commander. How embarrassing was it for him to find his soldiers pilfering from the other division because he cannot afford to feed the Scouts better quality food. Connie hit the floor with his knees, placing his hands on the floor, dropping his head. “I am so sorry, Commander! I apologize if I brought any shame to you and the corps. My mom would be so ashamed.”

The floor cracked as Sasha joined him, but she took it further by bowing forehead to the ground. “I am sorry, too! We didn’t mean to cause you any trouble. We will go back to base and eat whatever you have. We don’t need this…wonderful…I mean, tasty…no, crap…delicious food. Dammit!”

“Get off the floor, you two.” The commander said.

When Connie lifted his head up, he saw the Commander had his hands out to both of them, an amused look on his face. Connie took the offered hand and stood just as Sasha lurched up. They both swatted the dirt from their knees as Commander Erwin turned to look back at the door. They could see shadows moving from underneath. The commander waved them in close and bowed forward to get closer to their height.

“Listen, both of you. They are expecting me to yell at you, so I apologize to you in advance. I do not want to do this, but if we want to achieve our objective then we must play along. Alright?”

_Objective? What does he mean by that?_ Despite his curiosity, Connie nodded in agreement.

The commander nodded and stood tall again, his face growing colder as he rose.

Connie swallowed hard.

“YOU HAVE BROUGHT GREAT SHAME UPON THE SURVEY CORPS AND MYSELF WITH YOUR ACTIONS!”

Connie and Sasha both flinched at the sheer volume of the voice. Coupled with the angry look on his face, they were genuinely scared like they were before.

Commander Smith caught the change in the atmosphere. He mouthed ‘Sorry’ to them as he continued.

“I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH INSUBORDINATION FROM SUCH A SORRY CLASS OF SOLDIERS IN ALL OF MY YEARS IN THE MILITARY.”

His voice quieted, his face sincere. “Sorry, sorry…that is not true.”

“I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE SUCH A SORRY EXCUSE FOR SOLIDERS UNDER MY COMMAND!”

Then he quieted again. “You. Are. Doing. Amazing.”

Then he bellowed another line of disappointment as he reached over his head to grabbed one of the hanging preserved meats. He hands it to Sasha without missing a beat and reached back to hand Connie one as well. He opens his jacket and points in the area under between the chest and coat. Sasha wastes no time hiding the meat there. Connie follows her example. The commander nods in approval as he continues.

“IF THE CIRCUS COMES TO TOWN AND THEY HAVE A VACANCY IN THE CLOWERY DEPARTMENT, I WILL LET THEM KNOW I HAVE A COUPLE OF RECRUITS READY FOR HIRE!”

Connie’s jaw drops.

Commander Smith cringes. “I’m sorry. I don’t do this often.”

Sasha butts in. “Call us maggots.”

“Maggots?”

The commander gives her a disbelieving look.

“The commandant called us that all the time.”

Commander Smith lowers his head into his hand. “By the walls, Keith,” he muttered.

“YOU ARE BOTH A PAIR FOR WORTHLESS AND USELESS MAGGOTS!” He cringed.

Sasha gives him a thumbs up.

“GET ON THE GROUND AND GIVE ME TEN PUSHUPS!”

“Maggots!” Sasha hissed at her superior.

“Oh, right…MAGGOTS!”

Reflexes from training kicked in and they both dropped to the floor.

“No!” The harsh whisper had them scrambling up to standing. “I need you count like you are doing pushups.” He pushed past them and further into the store room.

“ONE, SIR!” Sasha called out as she followed.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

“ONE SIR!” They yelled in unison.

“TWO, SIR!” The commander hands Sasha some almond cookies. Connie gets caramel wafers. They get tucked away.

“THREE, SIR!” Taffy is shoved into their pockets.

“FOUR, SIR!” He holds up some fruit. Sasha nods and he tosses them to her. Into her bra they go. Connie gets bananas, they go into his shirt. The commander gives him a little ‘That works’ shrug and nod before moving along.

“FIVE, SIR!” He finds candy sticks wrapped in wax paper. Sasha tucks them into her hair. Connie is at a loss. He gets a pat on his shoulder as a condolence as he eats it instead.

“SIX, SIR!” Items are tucked behind their back plates.

“SEVEN, SIR!” flat jerky pouch line the bottom of their leather skirts.

“EIGHT, SIR!” They make sure everything is secure.

“NINE, SIR!” Twirls for approval. Commander Smith asks Connie to adjust one of his bananas.

“TEN, SIR!” Nod of approval.

“WHEN WE GET BACK TO BASE, YOU ARE ON BATHROOM DUTY FOR A MONTH!” He lowers his voice. “This is true. You will be on bathroom detail for the month.”

Connie doesn’t not argue. Fair enough.

“This will NEVER happen again, understood?”

“Sir!”

“GET OUT OF THIS ROOM, YOU SCUM! YOU MAKE ME SICK!”

Sasha and Connie stare at him, waiting for him to say something else.

He waves his hands forward. “Go on. Leave and get back to base.”

_Ohhhhhh._ They start to scurry away when he stops them.

“One of you have to cry.”

_What the f…?_

“People are uncomfortable about emotional people. They will avoid you if one of you is crying.”

He did not have to tell him twice.

Before Sasha could conjure a single tear, Connie burst into tears. Hot, heavy tears were accompanied with a snotty nose and hiccupping sobs…the works. He was so upset even the commander looked concerned.

“Now…go!”

Sasha held a distraught Connie as they exited the room. When they breached the door, at least five Garrison soldiers were hovering around the door, but seemed to be looking everywhere but the obviously hysterial recruits. As the duo passed gaggles of other soldiers, they could hear their whispers.

“Dear god…what did he say to them?”

“Is he so heartless?”

“He is terrifying.”

They hoofed it off base. Once they passed through the gates and into the public land, they stumbled into an alleyway.

They pulled it off! They made it!

The pair stayed in the alcove, allowing their hearts to get back to a normal pace and pulling out some of the more uncomfortable prizes. They only had a moment to adjust before they got a visitor.

“There you are!”

“Commander!” They both pulled into proper salutes. Connie was sure he smushed one of the bananas.

“Excellent work back there.” Commander Smith pulls out a handkerchief and hands it to Connie to clean up. “I must apologize for some of my harsh words. I want to assure you that I do not have such opinions over my soldiers.”

“Yes, sir! We understand, sir!” Sasha started to search her pockets. “Sir, you can have some. It was thanks to you that we got these.”

The commander holds up his hand. “No, need. I have everything I was looking for. You enjoy with your peers.” He steps away out of sight, pauses and turns back. “This never happened.” With that, he leaves the duo in the alley.

Connie can feel the banana mush bleeding through his shirt. “Sasha, we have to hurry back. It’s getting itchy.”

Sasha was still staring out at the end of the alley where their superior officer had left. “Y’know what? I think I like him.”

“Yea, I get what you mean, but this is starting to attract bugs. Let’s get out of here.”

The pair shuffle back to base - heroes. Their friends feast on the rare treats, knowing that they will soon head out beyond the walls. L

* * *

Levi is sitting in their room when Erwin returns. “I’m out of tea.” He deadpans, eyes not leaving his report.

Erwin steps forward, opening his coat to reveal a large tin. He sets it down in front of his captain. “I got this to hold you over until our order comes in.”

Levi snatches it up to examine it. He gives a low whistle. “Nice stuff. Stole it from the Garrison, I see.”

“They will not notice it missing.”

“Oh?” Levi says. “Will they miss the rest of the provisions you snuck out with those two?”

Erwin pauses with his jacket half-way off. Then he huffs a laugh and removes it. “You caught me.”

Levi hums at him, his lips quirked to the side. “For an old man, you can be a troublemaker.”

Erwin steps forward and stoops over to give him a chaste kiss. “This is not even the half of it.” he whispers against those lips.

As he tries to stand, Levi seizes his bolo tie and pulls. “Believe me…I know.” He surges up to give the commander a proper kiss. “But you’re _my_ trouble maker.”

Erwin practically groans. “Am I going to be punished?”

“Maybe.” A small peck. “Maybe not.” A nibble to his lips. “That’s up to me to decide.”

“Yes, sir.” Erwin whispers before he surges back in for more.

Needless to say, everyone got their treats that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is just something silly that I wrote on my Twitter. I think that Erwin is a cinnamon roll and Sasha is best girl.
> 
> Come visit @supasafeboss on my Twitter!


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